Missing Briefcase

January 2008

Missing Briefcase is Alex’s tenth album of off-kilter Beatles-style pop in six years. His humor-tinged songwriting on Missing Briefcase is subtle and sardonic, with lyrics such as, “If you want to claim Palestine/You’re gonna need some expert web design.” But Alex often eschews the self-conscious wittiness for the earnest (“Skybridge,” “There May Be A Place”), sometimes veering into pure absurdism (“Going Insane For The McCain Campaign”). These themes are all tied together with lush production and the consistent sensibility of melody and adventurousness. Mayhaw Hoons, long-haired bassist from up-and-coming Portland indie rock band The Shaky Hands, also contributes vocals on the faux-hip-hop song “Still Pushin.”

    Track Listing

    (click titles for lyrics)

    1. Pass By Palestine

      Exit, pursued by a bear and buried
      Who wanted a life so ordinary?
      I’ve lost all the blood flow to my heart
      And on top of this, the lawnmower won’t start
      And if I ever leave home
      I have to remember her like this

      I’ve been the same since the day you married
      Who wanted a life so quite unvaried?
      It’s no surprise to me that I’m dead
      And on top of this, the cats are overfed
      And if I ever leave Earth, I have to remember life like this

      I don’t want to forget
      And pass by Palestine
      Don’t let me grow old
      And forget and let it go
      I don’t want to forget
      And pass by Palestine
      Don’t let me grow old
      And give up and let it go

      I don’t want to forget
      That once I wanted to live
      Before the world got too dark
      My body on the ground
      And my mind wide awake
      In Palestine

      I’ve got an electromagnetic duster
      No spots seen, but the surface lacks luster
      I’ve lost all the blood flow to my heart
      And on top of this, the lawnmower won’t start
      And if I ever leave home
      I have to remember her like this

    2. Nuke Song

      I feel good every time you test the weapon
      Every time it goes I test a twist of lemon
      I twist the subtext and everything this nuke implies
      I’m so blind, I grew a third eye
      If you wanna claim Palestine
      You’re gonna need some expert web design
      Before you know it

      I feel good every time I threaten China
      Way down here, down from Northern Carolina
      Does it puzzle you, all this rise in mercury?
      This toxic body’s much in need of poison, can’t you see?
      If you wanna claim Palestine
      You’re gonna need a fiery serpentine
      Before you know it

      These nukes are all gone
      And I’ll sing this nuke song

    3. Eternal Return

      I’ve been strung up by my neck once or twice before
      Such a land that’s thrown me once or twice before

      Someone’s feeling down over half a pot of coffee grounds
      Messing with time and space is as easy as it sounds

      Because I’ve been in love with you before
      And seen my song taking all the time and time again
      And seen my call taking all the time again
      Because I’ve been love with you before

      All this talk of walls is making you cynical
      Who said all this human life can’t be cyclical?

      Because I’ve been in love with you before
      And seen my song taking all the time and time again
      And seen my call taking all the time again
      Because I’ve been love with you before

      Elvis Presley coming back for more
      And I’ve been in love with you before
      The tapes that I had when I was four

      Yes and I’ve been in love with you before
      And seen my song taking all the time and time again
      And seen my call taking all the time and time again
      And seen my song taking all the time and time again
      And seen my call taking all the time again
      Because I’ve been love with you before
      Yes I’ve been love with you before

    4. Going Insane For The McCain Campaign

      I’m goin’ insane for the McCain campaign

      I’m goin’ insane for the McCain campaign
      My stomach’s in pain from the McCain campaign
      It’s gonna rain on the McCain campaign
      I can’t refrain from the McCain campaign
      There’s a stain on the McCain campaign
      I’m taking a plane to the McCain campaign
      I’m busting a vein for the McCain campaign
      I can’t abstain from the McCain campaign
      I’m goin’ insane for the McCain campaign

      I’m going insane for the McCain Campaign
      I’m going insane!

      I’m going to Maine for the McCain campaign
      Bloody remains on the McCain campaign
      Doing cocaine for the McCain campaign
      I’m chewing chow mein for the McCain campaign
      There’s a strain on the McCain campaign
      I’m taking a train to the McCain campaign
      I’m busting a vein for the McCain campaign
      I can’t abstain from the McCain campaign
      I’m going insane for the McCain Campaign

      I’m going insane!

    5. The Zaps

      My mind is out of phase
      My mind is out of phase
      These days in the daze
      The Minotaur’s in the maze
      My mind is out of phase

      My mind is blinking out
      My mind is blinking out
      So long I’ve gone without
      The morn sucked up the doubt
      My mind is blinking out

      I think I saw the Duke eat the Earl
      The rainbow trout ate the red-haired girl
      Though I’m more reliable
      My brain is extra pliable

      Girl I got the zaps

      My mind is incomplete
      My mind is incomplete
      The lights on dark history
      It’s so right to wrong and cheat
      My mind is incomplete

      You said that I’m a line
      I said that I’m a line
      Going into the fold tonight
      A rainbow trout
      A mobius strip
      That’s crazy, crazy talk
      You said that I’m a maze
      I said that you’re a phase
      Going into the fold tonight
      Undulate the snake
      Everything’s a point
      My mind is out of phase
      My mind is out of phase
      A rain like clouds
      The clouds like flames
      Telling everyone in the campsite
      This dog is a bear
      This bear is a chair
      That’s crazy, crazy talk

    6. High Speed Chase

      I’ll keep a check on my raging speedometer
      I gotta keep pace with the news helicopter
      I’ll keep an eye out for houses I can drive through
      I put it on the line in a high stake pursuit
      I can’t think about putting on the brakes
      Everybody’s home watching my high-speed chase

      I’m daydreaming of my product endorsements
      The meth addict racket isn’t working too good
      Is it me or did I just hit a seal pup
      And won twenty points in a ten-car pileup
      I can’t think about putting on the brakes
      Everybody’s home watching my high-speed chase

      Maybe Jackie Chan and I can do a movie
      Maybe after all is said and done I’ll be your cellie
      Maybe all I wanna do is meet Jeff Gianola

      The jig is up, I hit a truck, and now it’s steel bars
      But first I hit a ramp over ten cop cars
      I gotta give all the people what they came for
      A flaming ball of flames as I leap out the front door
      I can’t think about putting on the brakes
      Everybody’s home watching my high-speed chase

    7. There May Be A Place

      What if you find you just can’t break on through?
      What if you find there is no other side?
      The girl grinds a pill into her mind
      The woman tells her guru what to find

      There may be a place
      There might be a time
      A never-passing other between the lines

      What if there is nowhere over the rainbow?
      What if you’re deaf to the sound of the lullaby?
      The man pushes flesh into the skin
      The boy shoots an arrow through his twin

      And if there is no undiscovered country
      And if the dreams that may come just don’t come

    8. Last Generation

      I’m keeping an eye on the sun
      It’s keeping an eye on me
      You’re the last generation who
      You’re the last generation to

      I’d like to show you the land
      My friend Ivy Mike
      You’re the last generation who
      You’re the last generation to

      I just saw a shape that I should never, never see
      I just saw a shape that should never, never be
      It’s the last generation dying on me

      There’s a new improved sun
      A second shining sun
      You’re the last generation who
      You’re the last generation to

      I’d like to show you the land
      You know, Ivy Mike
      You’re the last generation who
      You’re the last generation to

      I just saw a shape that I should never never see
      I just saw a shape that should never never be
      It’s the last generation smiling on me

      One by one
      Two by two
      The land takes on a different hue
      It’s the last generation smiling on you

    9. Skybridge

      I know you wanted me to be a mascot
      But then I fell into a musty wicker basket
      We could never fall away into the highlands
      The real estate in the Appalachian islands
      The real rain on the million dollar view

      You can see the bridge from the skybridge
      You can feel the street from the streetlight

      It’s all the same from six o’ clock until eleven
      The same news story and the syndicated drama
      If only I could stay between awake and sleep
      Well maybe I was born and brought here to die
      The better way for the million dollar view

      You don’t have to disappear so slow
      You can skip the triple lutz
      Although you don’t know
      To sleep, perchance to dream

    10. Still Pushin (Feat. Mayhaw Hoons)

      Now I’m down on the corner by the Circle K
      With a bag of crack and a bag of cocaine
      I been gone a while but I’m back with a “‘sup!”
      In a polo shirt with the collar turned up
      I strut the streets and I got the treats
      I’m mixin’ DMB with the Kool Herc beats
      But I turn my back and you’re hatin’ my sack
      They say, “bitch, you cleaned up!”
      Naw, I’m still pushin’ bro

      Now I been down and out down at the Lilith Fair
      I was cruisin’ the crowd with a load to spare
      I said to Paula Cole, “Girl, don’t you despair”
      Don’t mind the pin that says, “Hoes beware”
      Now ten years later, I be locked in the tank
      Caught makin’ dills with a grade school skank
      But Paula Cole, damn, she posted my bail
      She said, “you going straight, G?”
      Naw, I’m still pushin’ bro

      Now just when I think that I’m back in the game
      The po’ come in with an itch to blame
      They in my grill and my face, I say “WHAT?!”
      Damn, they found the junk up my butt
      They cuff me up until they learn my name
      I’m the governor’s son, yo that changed the game
      They spared me the ride and they left my freight
      They said, “Son, you scared straight?”
      Naw, I’m still pushin’ bro

      Mayhaw:
      Shot call!
      Take a ho to the bank
      I been making money selling six-pack of crank
      Shit, girl!
      Take a look at that butt!
      I really like your butt
      I appreciate your butt
      Gimme a hug if you want some food
      I got some ribs if you want to chew on it
      [scat]

    11. When The Bees Are Gone

      The bees are going down to the sound
      Of the wheezing coming up from underground
      The willow tree weeps a weep, one giant single sappy tear
      To the bees going down to the sound

      The roses shriveled up to the sound
      Of an empty house upon its mound
      With no arriving guests to a party of pollen past
      The roses shriveled up to the sound

      When all the bees are gone
      There’s something else there wrong
      We understand the plan to breathe until it hurts
      When all the bees are gone

      The humans shriveled up to the sound
      Of a final corn husk brushing the ground
      The taters and the nanners grew bored and went to sleep
      To the humans going down to the sound

    12. Secret Catastrophe

      I’ve got a bulletproof vest
      These riots calm down to please my guest
      I guess my gas mask is gone
      But all the scuba champions don’t need it on
      You’re passive aggressive
      You’re anxious and obsessive
      You have a tendency to test my queries
      I’d like to make you come closer

      You put me in this dusty old room
      Would you do the same to the bride and groom?
      I’ve got a spot that’s soft to the light
      Soon it may learn the art of sight
      The hungry and the full play the tune
      The same one that made the ladies swoon
      But the worst I could do is not listen
      To those who somehow escaped from prison

      It took a long fall down to a secret catastrophe
      To make you feel better